My Name is Strife
by Shade the Hero
Summary: What defines who we truly are? Is it the actions we take or is it the true essence that lives deep within our core?


The region surrounding Nibelheim was known for its harsh environment. Those who called the town of Nibelheim home had adapted enough to endure the harsh winter weather. At least, those who originally called it home. The people that Shinra had paid to live there were finding it very hard. Most had left, and the town had all but been abandoned save for one lonely soul that had retreated there. For a whole week they had secluded themselves in the only place that they could remember.

That was until they uncovered the horrendous truth. It was a truth that was both equal in measure, yet far greater than the horrors the town had previously witnessed before. At first they had denied it, praying that they were wrong and begging for what they had previously thought to be true instead. It had been bad, but this was far worse. Blonde hair did little to muffle the sobs as they struggled to accept the truth of their destiny. But nothing could prepare them for what was to happen next.

 _ **. . .**_

The snow crunched under his boots as Cloud Strife strode down the empty street of his hometown. It was even more depressing now than it ever was before. His search for the girl had taken him all over Gaia, but she had always been just a few steps ahead. He had almost caught up to her in Junon only to lose her when she managed to hop aboard the ferry and he missed it. He had tracked her down, following her trail until it brought him here. He should have expected it, but hoped he could have caught her before he had to face his old stomping grounds.

Cupping his hands together he called out her name. "Cirrus!"

The girl flinched as his voice echoed through the home she had hidden herself in. She quickly did the only thing she could think of. Like a frightened child she hid under the bed she had been sitting on.

Cloud walked down the street until he came upon what was once his home. Well, this building had never been his home. It had been rebuilt along with the rest of the town. His home, like his mother were long gone. But still, if Reeve's medical team were right then it'd be the best place to start looking.

He entered slowly, trying not to make any noise. Looking around it sickened him to think someone from Shinra had spent enough time when it stood to get an idea of what his home once looked like. The interior had been different, but everything else was the same, except for the warm, safe feeling it had when his mother lived there. Now was it run down and empty, just as a fake copy deserved to be.

He turned to leave before more painful memories threatened to rise when he noticed the bed looked recently used. Placing his hand on the one side he felt the warmth and knew something had been there within the last few minutes. It wasn't an animal because the evidence didn't show any signed of animal fur or claw marks, what he did find was a few strands of blonde human hair.

He looked around, walking along the bed to try and get a guess as to where she was.

Cirrus meanwhile, held a hand over her mouth as she tried to control her panicked breathing.

He knew she was here, but he wanted to try and make her come out on her own.

"Cirrus please, I only want to talk. You left before we could figure out what to do."

He took another step closer to the bed and she scooted back as far as she could. Cloud heard the noise and turned to look at the bed. He gave it a hard look before he turned away from it.

Cirrus had froze, scared for her life when she saw his feet turn and fought the urge to sigh when he turned away.

Suddenly, Cloud spun on his heel, pulling out First Tsurugi and slicing the bed to the side, sending it up and flying across the room. He then looked down at a purely terrified blonde.

Cirrus stared up at him, unable to move and paralyzed with fear.

Cloud could see now why Reeve's findings were so easy to believe, and that there was no denying the fact any longer.

Cirrus had been found in a lab. An old lab of Hojo's. She bore impossible likeness to Cloud and everyone who saw her thought they were siblings. Reeve had his team run tests on her and while they waited for the results, Cloud had taken her to his home, saying it was better she have a somewhat normal life than sitting around in another lab. He had promised to keep an eye on her and keep her out of trouble.

She had been afraid of him at first, but once she had been given a name by Marlene and made welcomed by Tifa she had warmed up to the makeshift family nicely. And then she found out she was a clone. And not just any clone, but a clone of Cloud.

She had been so worried that he would be angry and try to get rid of her that she didn't stay long enough to find out more. She set out to find her own answers. What she found was far worse and it only made her fear Cloud even more for it. For if he knew the truth he would surely kill her.

"Please," she begged him. "Just leave me alone."

Cloud hated how scared she was of him, but he needed to know why. "Cirrus, I'm not going to hurt you. I don't care if you're my clone."

He reached his hand out towards her, but she flinched away from it. "If only it were that simple," she told him.

"Why can't it be," he asked.

She tried to make a break for the door, but he grabbed her wrist. "Cirrus! You're not running from me anymore! I want to help you!"

"If you want to help then leave me alone," she shouted as he grabbed her other wrist. She did the only thing she could and kicked him between the legs, hard.

He grunted and fell to the floor, trying to absorb the pain as she fled. "Damn it," he cursed.

She kept running, past the town and the mansion and into the dense woods that littered the foot of the mountains.

Quick as a flash Cloud was on her and tackled her form the side. "I grew up in these mountains. I know every secret path and hidden trail!"

He pinned her arms with his hands and sat on her stomach to prevent her from escaping. He hated resorting to restraining her in such a crude way, but it was the only thing that had worked before. "Why do you keep running? No one is going to hurt you back home!"

"You would if you only knew," she shouted back.

"What reason would I have to hurt you? Aside from the trouble you've caused me. Tracking you down has been a royal pain in the ass. Not even Yuffie gave me this much trouble."

Tears were flowing from the corner of Cirrus' eyes now as she pleaded with him. "Please, just let me go. If I'm going to die I'd rather it not be by your hand, not again."

"Again," he asked and she took the chance to try and get out of his grip, but he wasn't falling for it again. "Cirrus, what do you mean by that?"

"Please Cloud…"

"Not until you tell me what you mean Cirrus!"

She shut her eyes tight before her anger got the better of her. "My name isn't Cirrus, it's _**Jenova**_!"

She managed to free one leg enough to kick him away and scurried over to a tree where she stood and leaned against it. Cloud was too shocked to move, trying to figure out how that could be true. "But…how can…"

She looked over at him, tears still falling. "Hojo is the most sick and twisted man ever to exist on this planet. I know. I've called this place home for eons." She tried to control herself enough to continue. "My body may be a clone, but my soul is not. I am the monster known as Jenova. I found out when I discovered the hidden files Hojo kept in his labs."

Turning towards Cloud she gave him a look that made him both sad and nervous. "I remember everything from before. All of my desires and plans, the things I whispered to Sephiroth and to you. You always ignored it better than he did." She then glared at him. "My thoughts were so strong, but no one could truly hear me. The fools at Shinra thought they could control me, thinking I was an ancient. Oh how they were wrong. They took me apart piece by piece and made monsters with them. When my memories returned I fought to force them from resurfacing, afraid that I would realize why I hated humanity so much in the first place."

She then glared down at Cloud and smiled. "Thanks to you I was forced to remember. You should have let me flee, you could have been better prepared for this battle otherwise."

Cloud's sympathy vanished and he jumped to his feet; sword drawn and eyes battle-hardened. "Just because you can move freely doesn't mean I can't kill you."

She smiled evilly at him and lifted her hand which was swarming with a powerful aura before a flashback made her freeze. Waking up scared and alone and he was there, holding her down and telling her not to be afraid. More flashbacks appeared, racing through her mind's eye. The first time he stood up for her and yelled at the people in lab coats, when he brought her to his home and when the little girl gave her a name. When the barmaid showed her how to cook and when she taught her how to turn down persuasive guys. The time when Cloud taught cirrus about how to fix an engine or when Barret pulled her along to pull a prank on Cloud. Every time she tried to focus on fighting the blonde there was another image of him and his kindness.

The power in her hand faded before she grasped her head with both hands. "No, I...can't…I don't know what I want." An internal war raged within her as both old and new personalities clashed.

"I hate this planet! It exists to serve me," she shouted before she fell to her knees. "Why…why am I letting these humans get to me? Damn these memories! Why do I care? Several millennia of scheming and it's being undone by such a small group? But…I've never been shown such real kindness…"

Cloud realized the battle was not with him and he lowered his sword. "Cirrus…"

She looked at him with broken eyes. "Just leave me alone." She struggled to her feet and tried to run, but didn't get far before she collapsed. Cloud hurried over to her and felt his heart skip a beat when she saw what condition she was in.

She was trembling from more than just her mental struggle. She was going into shock. The cold alone could kill her, but she was also very thin, as if she hadn't eaten at all while on the run and it was clear she had untreated injuries. No wonder she hadn't seemed as strong as before. He kneeled down and felt her forehead and retracted it back as she lashed out at him, but not before he realized how high her fever was. She wouldn't last another night out in this cold.

His first reaction was to help, but he had to remind himself that while she looked like his own flesh and blood she was the very cause of so much suffering. The very thing that threatened the planet. He knew what the planet wanted him to do. Kill the threat and the merciful side of him wanted to end her suffering.

With a heavy heart he stood and lifted his sword, there was no way she could fight back now, not in her condition.

But then she looked up at him and her gaze held nothing but fear and regret.

Cloud stabbed his sword into the snow before untying the material around his waist and wrapped it around her. He then took her in his arms.

"Why…even now…" she struggled to ask through her mental pain and the violent shivering. "Why won't you finish me? I just tried to kill you. I should kill you, the one obstacle that always gets in my way…"

"That was an old life. Jenova died with Sephiroth. You're Cirrus Strife, my little sister. That's all that matters now."

Both sides of her inner struggle stopped as she gazed up at him. His eyes were pleading with her, begging her not to force him to take action. He was trying so hard not only to save the planet, but her as well. He really thought she could be saved? And he wanted to save her? She had been lonely for so long…even before coming to Gaia. She had been searching...ever searching for something to fill the empty void and the loneliness. When she came to Gaia the people worshiped her and she loved it, until the Cetra came and accused her of leading the people astray. She never intended anything malicious, only to be loved. In her anger she had cursed the Cetra and drove them into extinction, but not before the people locked her away and forced her to sleep.

When she woke up, she was a husk of her former self. Her body long-decayed, but she was still very much alive. A man named Hojo had discovered her and used her DNA to create both the beings known as SOLDIER and a being that was as close as family as she had ever known. A silver-haired baby named Sephiroth. As he grew she formed a connection with him, always whispering to him in the back of his mind; guiding him to be the perfect son, the perfect companion and the perfect tool for revenge against the world that had wronged her.

But then they had been stopped by one man, and he kept coming back. Time and again the blonde warrior was always there to stop her, until Sephiroth was killed and everything went dark. Everything after that was like an entirely new life. She woke up and the same blonde was there, not as an enemy this time, but a friend. He had taught her what it was like to have the friendship of others, the loyalty and even the love of a family.

She looked up at the warrior now and was about to ask him something when she felt a great power well up inside her. She tried to fight it, tried so hard, but it surfaced and she let it out. Grabbing his sleeve she lifted herself enough grip his arm and cry into his shoulder. It wasn't a quiet weep or a timid sniffle, she completely broke down.

He had finally made her remember what she had originally wanted from the very beginning and without judgment he gave it to her. All she ever wanted was to not be alone. Cloud wasn't sure what was going on, but he found himself relax, his senses telling him the threat had passed. He hugged her with his other arm. "Let's go home."

She slowly pulled out of his embrace and looked at him for what felt like the first time. Not as the adoptive brother she had come to admire, nor the pain in the ass hero from before, but as a man who only wanted to protect those he cared for. "You really are the planet's champion," was all she said before she lost consciousness.

 _ **. . .  
**_

When she woke up she was surprised to find herself in one piece, unrestrained and alive. She was laying in a hospital bed. Looking over to her right she saw an IV connected to her arm, providing nutrients and to her left she saw the blonde sitting in the visitor's chair. A nurse came in to check her vitals and smiled at the sight before seeing she was awake. "I wondered when he'd finally nod off. It figures that's when you decide to wake up young miss."

"How long has it been," she asked the nurse, her voice felt scratchy and dry.

"About two days since he arrived with you, I'm not sure how long before that. It's quite a long ways from Nibelheim to the WRO compound."

The nurse finished her work and left with the promise she'd be back later, leaving her and Cloud alone. He certainly looked exhausted, but she had to know something. Taking a box of tissues, she threw it at him, hitting his chest and landing in his lap.

His eyes flickered open before he saw that she was awake and he sat up. "Cirrus?"

"Is that who I really am," she asked, sounding hurt and afraid.

Cloud just gave her an annoyed look. "I told you already, Jenova is dead. The only one who matters is Cirrus."

She could only look at him and shake her head. "We're one in the same Cloud. I may have felt human and alive as Cirrus, but nothing will change the fact that I am Jenova. Everything I did…there's no way to erase that. And it's wrong for you to deny it, as much as we both want to."

"Both," he asked.

She nodded. "You reminded me of what I wanted from the beginning, but is it fair for me to ask for it now? After all I've done?"

Cloud sighed before getting up to stand at her bedside. "A while back, I asked Vincent a question. I asked, _'are sins ever forgiven?'_ and do you know what he told me?"

She shook her head.

"He said he had never tried," he replied. "I told him that I was going to try and I found the answer."

"Can sins be forgiven, even ones that are as old as time itself," she asked, feeling afraid, yet hopeful for the first time in forever.

He held out his hand for her. "You won't know until you try."

She looked at him and then at his hand, understanding that even after everything, he was still offering to help. She took his hand and smiled gratefully at him.

"I'd like to try."

* * *

 _This was originally going to be a much longer story, but I shortened it to a one-shot. will the full version see the light of day? Not sure, but regardless I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Please, leave a review and tell me what you think?_

 _Cloud Strife and FFVII belong to Square Enix_

 _Cirrus belongs to me._


End file.
